absence

There hasn't been much to update lately. Especially since I've decided to travel more lightly (i.e. sans 5 lb camera) to compensate for the fact that the twins are growing heavier each day.

The kids are good. Both walk everywhere now, and they're picking up new words every day. We joined the children's museum, so we hope to visit pretty regularly.

I've also been doing a lot of reflection lately. This Sunday would have been my mother's 61st birthday. Two more weeks after that, it will have been a year since she died. A whole year without her presence. She has missed so much, and so have we.

I still don't have words to fully explain the impact of losing her. I am still trying to figure out how to exist in a world where she is only a memory. I struggle every day to understand my role as mother to these two beautiful children. There are so many moments that I wish I could just call to ask her advice, share the children's successes, vent about my latest frustrations, or get together for lunch.

I'm anticipating that September will be a rough month for me. In addition to all of the emotional stuff that is sure to come up, we also have lots of events and activities scheduled throughout the month. Plus, we're hoping (needing) to move in the relatively near future, so that is sure to add stress. You'll have to forgive me if my blog maintenance falls short this month...