bittersweet

My mom died tonight. She had been battling a rare form of brain cancer for the past two and a half years. She fought hard, but in the end, her body was so broken down that it was just time for her to rest. Cancer is the dirtiest word I know.

It breaks my heart that she will never know our children. She would have been an incredible grandmother and was so excited for us when we announced that we had started the adoption process. Before she died, she told me that she wanted our children to know how much she loved them.

I have been working on a memory book of my mother's life that I had intended to give her for her 60th birthday. (I had hoped that the final page could have included the referral photos of her grandchildren.) In all honesty, I'm making the book as much for our children as for her. I guess it's my way of trying to keep her memory alive and allowing them to know who she was.

We know our referral is close, and while I wish she could have at least seen photos of our children, my entire family has been comforted by the fact that we'll soon have a new generation to pass our traditions on to. If I can be anywhere near as good a mother as my mom was, I'll be happy. But I have to say, she set the bar pretty high!

Life marches on, and we're all the better for the memories...